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Involving The Children In Decisions That Are About Designing Their Bath
I know some pretty solemn disciplinarians. Some of my fellow parents, and even some of my friends, spend lots of energy disciplining their children. Instead of finding ways to work along with them, they figure out ways to make them obey blindly. I understand that it's important to have obedient kids, but I think there are better ways to control it than by punishing them. Punishment is necessary, but the most imperative thing is to make the kid feel as if a part of his or her own life. If she or he understands that the determinations that he makes matter, he will be more apt to obey what you have to say. With liberty comes accountability, but with responsibility also must come freedom.
I always try to include the children in determinations about household decorations. For example, they have to take care of washing the bathroom, but they get to select the kids shower curtains. They have to keep their bedrooms clean, but they get to select children blankets. They switch who gets to pick out the kids shower curtains. This time, it is my daughter's turn. She has picked out a frog shower curtain that is one of the most delightful things that I've ever seen. Her kids shower curtains will stay up for the next two weeks, during which time she needs to take care of the bathroom. After that, one of the other kids shower curtains gets to be put up.
I did not come to this decision arbitrarily. I do not let them put up their own kids shower curtains because I have given up on getting them to listen to me. Quite the opposite, I want them to listen to me. I wish to teach them that with work comes rewards. If my son wants to put up his lighthouse shower curtains, that is fine, but he needs to keep the tub completely clean. If my youngest daughter wants to put up her kids shower curtains, she has to try cleaning the bath herself.
She is very youthful, and has not been assigned chores yet, but soon she will. Instead of fearing them, she will in actuality enjoy them. She will see them as a sign that she is getting to the age where she enjoys the exact same rights and privileges as the older kids. The children shower curtains represent this, as do their bedsheets.
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